Stephen Quint and the ZOMBIE MIKADO

MORE Japanese operetta; the Scottish play (badly)

Tomorrow night, Friday April 3, NYGASP will be doing "Mikado" at the Community Theatre at Mayo Center for Performing Arts, Morristown, NJ. This will be my last NYGASP Ko-Ko for, well, indefinitely. I am listening for your involuntary "Thank God!"

In other urgent news, last night I went to the New York debut of Edinburgh's REALLY TERRIBLE ORCHESTRA. It was pretty good. I went with PETER HIRSCH. As we were walking up 43rd to Town Hall we heard BAGPIPES, which never ever sound any good however well they're played. I guess these were played OK but it still sounded like the worst possible oboe-playing combined with screaming cats. It was from kilted guys standing outside Town Hall. Because the RTO is from Edinburgh.

PETER HIRSCH as Hoppy the French Horn Frog in the "Teach Your Retarded Child What A Brass Instrument Is!" video (VHS only).

It was a good-sized audience, with some empty sections. Quite a few people followed them over from Scotland. The orchestra was 45 - 50 white people, all dressed nicely and sometimes a bit eccentrically, but not at all uniformly. The principal cellist was a bald woman. The flutes were a beaky-faced middle-aged woman, a girl with fabulous knockers, and an old bald coot with wild bushy eyebrows. An ancient crone was one of the percussionists. There were two euphoniums, one played by a woman who was either blind, deaf, or probably dyslexic. She had a girl sitting beside her the entire time conducting her, counting out loud, and pointing at her music. Everyone in the orchestra was a character. They very obviously enjoyed themselves all the way through. It's the thing I love most about community theater productions. Their performance stinks but you never get tired of watching the individuals.

The music they chose was frequently kind of a drag. They did stuff that was SUPPOSED to be funny. They had a real Scottish Major-General sing a not particularly ingenious rewritten Major-General song, there was a pointless Sound of Music singalong, a Scottish thing with solo bagpipes, some original pieces composed for the RTO - a brief African-ish tone poem and an arrangement of "Over the Rainbow" for musical saw. Along the more entertaining lines for which I had hoped they also gave a miserable performance of "Pizzicato Polka" in which no one could get their attacks together, a couple of noisy marches, and the last 4 minutes of 1812 Overture, because the first 10 are much too difficult. We were given paper bags to inflate and explode for the canon cues.

There was also a lot of talk, mostly pretty amusing, from the conductor and the famous and prolific author Alexander McCall Smith (The No. 1 Ladies Detective Agency, 44 Scotland Street, Isabel Dalhousie), who is a founding member and first euphoniumist (I've got him on the list).

You should have seen the orchestra's faces when we gave them a standing ovation! They were thrilled to death.

SPRING 2008 NYGASP REVIEWS

Here, with the help of the excellent PAUL SIGRIST, who claims to be not as young as I think he is but I think he must be wrong, are the links to Spring 2008 NYGASP reviews, some of which are quite entertainingly NOT PRETTY.

This bland but positive NY TIMES PINAFORE REVIEW you may have already seen because I posted it a couple of weeks ago. Scroll down a few postings to read my thoughts.

Backstage, the actors' weekly, had two reviews, by different people. The GONDOLIERS REVIEW is a perfect example of a review where the writer seems to wish he could just give it a thumbs up and not have to waste his time writing. The PINAFORE REVIEW is a little more interesting, I guess. The critic's opinion of Laurelyn's work is like nothing I've ever heard of! Laurelyn is the best! This critic's opinion of Laurelyn's costumes is old and boring news -- they have always and do currently look as unflattering on a five foot ten goddess as they do on a person who is shorter than me and temporarily has the burden of a healthy fetus. One Size Fits Al. Still, it's satisfying to see specific costume complaints in print. Poor Josephine, yes.

Whatever you do don't miss this VARIETY REVIEW OF MIKADO! As Louis said of it, "Jesus, I'm finally singled out in a review and the guy rips me a new asshole!" Rest assured, Mr. Variety Critic, Sir, that Louis does indeed wear an unbelievably hot and awful fat suit as Pooh-Bah, and that his exasperating rolling around on the floor is painstakingly dictated by Al. This critic hates everything about the production, which always does make for the most entertaining reading. Honorable mention must go to this critic who, after a thorough butchering, ADMITS THAT THE AUDIENCE HAD A GREAT TIME, AND HOWLED AT THE STUFF HE THOUGHT WAS HORRIBLE.

"Moldy, Messy Gilbert and Sullivan" is the irresistible title of this review from AM New York, one of the free New York dailies. The writer, Matt Windman, whose work I have appreciated before, covers the big three in brief and devotes amusing space to Al's antics and our delicate sets.

This PINAFORE REVIEW FROM EDGE NEW YORK is positive and pallid, and for some reason includes a gruesome snapshot of Al in a giant Major-General costume.

THEATERSCENE.NET gave Gondoliers a positive review that's interesting enough once you get past the FOUR PARAGRAPHS of synopsis and historical stuff.

Here is another typical, worthless, positive PINAFORE REVIEW FROM CLASSICAL SOURCE. The only interesting thing about this one is this quote about me ---
"Stephen Quint was perfectly cast in the patter role of Sir Joseph Porter; small, sprightly and gifted with an appealingly light-textured voice, he delivered Gilbert’s words with wonderfully crisp articulation in a sometimes scene-stealing performance."
--- which you might like to compare with this quote from Peter G. Davis, writing for New York Magazine in 2002 ---
"Stephen Quint as Sir Joseph Porter is the ideal G&S patter-song comedian: elfin, waspish, agile, with a pleasantly lean-textured voice that articulates notes and words with absolute clarity."

Last and arguably least is this straightforward, positive GONDOLIERS FROM FINANCIAL TIMES. It just don't say much.

As Oscar Wilde sort of said, through Graham Chapman or one of the other Monty Python guys, "It is better to be written about than not written about at all."

There were also a couple of reviews in newspaper form only, not available online as far as I know. If anyone has URLs to any I missed I hope you'll send them.

POPE VISITS NY!!! NYGASP RELEASES CAST LIST!!!

Faithful reader:

Now that you’ve O.D.ed on the tour schedule post below and have followed us around the country like a bloodhound pursuing a filthy, smelly rag, and our weekend out-of-town gigs are nearly at a temporary end, here’s some fresh NYGASP gristle for you to chew…

Concerning our JUNE SEASON AT NEW YORK CITY CENTER! Yabba-dabba-doo! Yes, jolly old Al Bergeret and his band of fun-making wackos (a couple of them actually are legally retarded) are back to try a season in a month without an “ARRR,” though we will be doing Pirates of Penzance! No Princess Ida this time – the “non-Big Three” show for this part of the season is The Gondoliers, for which I am assured the choreography will not be “excessive, over-demanding, and pointless.” Gondoliers is a very dancy show, though, so we’ll just have to watch and make sure no delusions of grandeur begin asserting themselves at rehearsals, which are many.

And now, for the first time ever, since you can’t count on the NYGASP website for this type of information, HERE’S WHO WILL BE PLAYING WHOM IN THE CASTS. Those fine, fine audience members with a taste for their sweet little Mr. Steve are in luck, as I will be quite in evidence. People who l-o-o-o-o-v-e  Keith Jurosko aren’t so lucky (he’s out of town). But all the other cast members you fantasize about are here, including ALAN HILL in EVERY SHOW!

Cast Lists for City Center, June 2008
The Gondoliers
The Duke of Plaza-Toro ……….. Stephen Quint
Luiz …………………………………. Matthew Nelson
Don Alhambra ……………………. Richard Holmes
Marco ………………………….…… Colm Fitzmaurice
Giuseppe …………………………... Bill Whitefield
The Duchess of Plaza-Toro ……. Angela Smith
Casilda ……………………………… Michele McConnell
Gianetta ……………………………. Laurelyn Watson Chase
Tessa ……………………………….. Erika Person
Inez …………………………………. Vicky Devany
also Meredith Borden (Fiametta), Rebecca O’Sullivan (Giulia), Kimberly Bennett (Vittoria), Michael Galante (Francesco), Lance Olds (Antonio), David Auxier (Giorgio)

H.M.S. Pinafore
Sir Joseph – Stephen Quint / David Macaluso
Captain …………………………. Richard Holmes
Ralph ……………………………. Colm Fitzmaurice
Boatswain ………………………. Bill Whitefield
Deadeye ………………………… Louis Dall’Ava
Josephine – Laurelyn Watson Chase / Elizabeth Hillebrand
Hebe …………………………….. Vicky Devany
Buttercup ………………………. Angela Smith

The Pirates of Penzance
Major General ………………... Stephen Quint
Pirate King ………………….… David Wannen
Samuel ………………………… David Macaluso
Frederic ……………………….. Colm Fitzmaurice
Sgt. of Police ………………… David Auxier
Mabel …………………………. Sarah Smith
Edith ………………………….. Erika Person
Kate …………………………… Amy Helfer
Isabel …………………………. Meredith Borden
Ruth …………………………... Angela Smith

The Mikado
The Mikado ………………… David Wannen
Ko-Ko ……………………….. David Macaluso
Pooh-Bah …………………… Louis Dall’Ava
Pish-Tush …………………… Ed Prostak
Nanki-Poo ………………….. Daniel Lockwood
Katisha ………………………. Dianna Dollman
Yum-Yum …………………… Laurelyn Watson Chase
Peep-Bo ……………………... Lauren Wenegrat
Pitti-Sing ……………………. Melissa Attebury

Note the absence of any celebrity names though their photos continue to add nothing to our website. And now for the schedule...

G&S Fest 2008
    The Pirates of Penzance
        * Saturday, June 7, 2008, 2:00 PM
        * Friday, June 13, 2008, 8:00 PM

  H.M.S. Pinafore
        * Friday, June 6, 2008, 8:00 PM
        * Sunday, June 8, 2008, 3:00 PM
        * Tuesday, June 10, 2008, 7:00 PM
        * Wednesday, June 11, 2008, 2:00 PM 

The Mikado

        * Saturday, June 7, 2008, 8:00 PM
        * Saturday, June 14, 2008, 2:00 PM
 
  The Gondoliers
        * Thursday, June 12, 2008, 8:00 PM
        * Saturday, June 14, 2008, 8:00 PM
        * Sunday, June 15, 2008, 3:00 PM

Ticket Information
All performances are at New York City Center (West 55th St. between 6th & 7th). Tickets can be purchased for $96, $80, $60, and $40 online at www.nycitycenter.org or by calling CityTix at 212.581.1212.

    * Buy any 2 shows and Save 15%**
    * Buy 3 or more shows Save 25% off **
    * Children 12 & under receive 50% off ++
    * Seniors 65 & over receive 10% off*

Ask about our Free Kids Nights (January 8 & June 10) and our Special Wednesday Matinee (June 11).

The Tuesday night and Wednesday afternoon Pinafores will feature the excitement of a new Sir Joseph – my perfectly ripping understudy Dave Macaluso – and a new conductor – ME! I’ve always wanted to conduct NYGASP’s “Pinafore” – mostly because you won’t hear a better sung and played “Pinafore,” and conducting the new guy’s first performance seemed like a nice way to pass the torch.

My next posting won’t be just a bunch of copied and pasted stuff. I have a friend who’s touring with that British G&S company that’s been taking NYGASP’s jobs by undercutting us to such a degree that they need to pass the hat at performances. Oh, why be coy? I’m talking about the CARL ROSA OPERA COMPANY .

As I write this Manhattan is swarming with enraptured CATHOLICS. Here’s an un-doctored picture of our esteemed papal personage, about to put away a pint of pilsner – probably Pabst. CHUG IT! Do you think he's a mean drunk? I mean, look at him. Yipes! It is my understanding that he inhales, as well.

More Ida Reviews

I was at Lincoln Center yesterday and had the misfortune to look through the window at Avery Fisher Hall during the pre-concert dinner hour. No matter how rich or fancy you think you are I wish you would give a moment’s consideration to how you look when you eat. My eyes were opened years ago when I got a slice of pizza and ate it at a counter in front of a store-length mirror. I was disgusting! Taking huge bites, stuffing it all into one cheek, probing my teeth with my tongue… I can’t go on. These atrocities and more were being perpetrated by the cognoscenti and I don’t know how people can get so old and eat so repulsively. Please fix that.

Also yesterday I went for a haircut and had my first professional shave. I asked the barber – probably in an effort to avoid having to talk about the GOD DAMN SUPER BOWL – if he had seen Sweeney Todd. The barber – a Russian guy – said, “No, but I understand there’s a lot of blood.” He said it as if that was a good thing, which of course it is. I asked about getting shaved and he asked if I had time for the “deluxe treatment,” which is $4 extra and takes about 30 minutes. I told him to bring it on. They (this Russian barber and his Russian barber brother) prefer not to shave when business is brisk because you can give two haircuts in the time it takes to do a shave. But it was 8:30 and snowing (gigantic flakes which didn’t last long) so we did it right.
After the haircut he rubbed some thick stuff into my face. “This is cream for shaving,” he said. “It’s called ‘Shaving Cream.’” Then he put a hot towel on me for a couple of minutes. Wiped off some of the excess cream and got to work with a little straightedge razor, shaving mostly with the grain. Before he got to work on my neck he asked, “Are you married?” “Yes.” “Does your wife know you’re here?” “Uh - ye - yes?” Then he started around the Adam’s apple. Made me gasp, let me tell you. He was obviously aware of the gist of Sweeney Todd. After that, a little more stuff applied to the face and further shaving against the grain. Then an EXTREMELY hot towel wrapped with nothing exposed but the nostrils, then further moisturizer rubbed in and after shave lotion spritzed on. I had never had any kind of a facial and thought the experience was pretty darn cool. I don’t know if the shave was really any closer than what I do myself, though. I don’t have to be onstage for about a month, so I’m not going to shave till then, and when I do I’m going back to this barber.

Maggie the 12-year-old daughter LOVED Sweeney Todd and astonished me, as she did after we saw The Producers on Broadway, by quoting it extensively on the walk home. She’s seen Christopher Lee get enough stakes through the heart so that the ridiculously bright red blood didn’t bother her, and a month later she’s still singing the songs. “We  A-L-L  DE-SERVE  TO  DIE…” Lucy (9) also watched it (illegal download GIVEN TO ME BY A FRIEND) and felt compelled to leave the room for a couple of the slashings, and demanded to know up front if the young lovers live, but also enjoyed if very much and her attention never wandered, that’s for sure. I saw the original cast in 1979 and have been waiting since then for the movie version. It is a great movie musical but I found Helena Bonham Carter a little exasperating. Granted we’ve got Angela Lansbury’s dynamic performance preserved and don’t really need more of the same but Mrs. Lovett as a heroin depressed goth girl…? Where’s the fun in that? I guess Tim Burton wanted an anti-Lansbury. And Johnny Depp looked like a LESS insane version of Beethoven. Anthony Perkins would have made a fine movie Sweeney too, and like Depp he could also sort of sing.

On Saturday night NYGASP had its final Princess Ida for hopefully as many as eight years. We played the great McCarter Theater in Princeton to a very full and appreciative house. It was fun to do after a couple of weeks off. Ida really is right at the bottom of the barrel as far as Gilbert’s input is concerned. Not quite as bad as The Grand Duke, which is bad Sullivan as well, but certainly on a par with Gilbert’s lame work in The Sorcerer and Utopia, Limited. Here’s yet another Ida review, mostly synopsis, from Theater Scene.net  (choice quote: "What passes for imagination are such things as the tap dancing soldiers in the third act, which seem vaguely out of character from the rest of the evening").
And here’s one more, on the brief side, from some New Jersay paper.
I’ve also seen some blog reviews, basically favorable and not interesting enough to bother presenting to you. I snicker that they take the performers to task for frequently not facing the people onstage to whom they’re singing or speaking (it's "distracting"). I am sure that these blog critics watch much fine television and occasionally even drag themselves outside to see a movie but in a theater where no microphones are involved I promise you it’s much better if the performers try to make their voices go out to the customers.

Caesar Fabray Beethoven

SCORE WITH PIRATES!

You wanted it! You asked for it! And you got it! And you can have it! Friday, January 11 at 8pm is GAY NIGHT at City Center, 55th St between 6th and 7th!!! Come one, come all to The Pirates of Penzance, one NYGASP production that I would not describe as especially gay, and get 50% off all ticket purchases & FREE ENTRY to the special GAY patron Pre-Show Reception on the Mezzanine featuring complimentary drinks! Who will be there? Can you stand not to know? This is also SINGLES NIGHT, so how can you lose? Come alone and leave with a Gilbert and Sullivan fan! Yay!

As long as I’m here, and since I obviously need to warm up before I can do a real posting, here is the rest of the STEVE QUINT 2008 NYGASP JANUARY CITY CENTER SCHEDULE:

PRINCESS IDA (King Gama): Friday, Jan 4, 8PM; Sunday, Jan 6, 3PM; Saturday, Jan 12, 8PM.
TRIAL BY JURY AND SELECTIONS PROGRAM (Judge and assorted stuff): Thursday, Jan 10, 8PM.
PIRATES OF PENZANCE (Major-General): Saturday, Jan 5, 2PM and 8PM; Tuesday, Jan 8, 7PM (Free Kids Night!); Friday, Jan 11, 8PM with festivities described above; Sunday, Jan 13, 3PM.

I think the only thing I didn’t mention was the single performance of MIKADO, Saturday the 12th at 2PM, from which I’ll be taking a break.

For GAY NIGHT you can visit www.citycenter.org  and enter the code: 3485 OR call 212-307-4100 and mention in your most seductive voice code NY2. Or, if you just can’t stand coded messages, I suppose you could just tell City Center “I’M GAY” or “I’M SINGLE, WHAT’S IT TO YOU?” and get your deal.
Here’s a link to the NYGASP WEBSITE CALENDAR, from which you can navigate to more ticket-purchasing info.

I'll be LOOKING for YOU...

mmmmmmmmmmmmm............

KANDOO!

I've seen these things at the drug store and gawked a bit but now that I've seen their TV commercial I have to speak up! "Kandoo" flushable wipes are intended for kids of toilet-training age. They're not any different from other flushable wipes except for the scent (fruit!), garish colors, and their "cute" logo - a cartoon frog who WIPES HIS ASS!!! And as I mentioned, the full impact of this weird combination of bowel movement, cuteness, hygene, and green and purple packaging didn't hit me until I saw the whole mess animated to the tune of a Jamaican jingle. This frog actually wipes himself on TV! Is that a breakthrough or what? Why has no one commented on this? Why don't we see him wipe with regular toilet paper, then with "Kandoo," then thrust both wipes at us to demonstrate the difference? Nobody is going to flinch at the sight of some cartoon frog shit, except probably me.

On a lighter note, I'm seeing Rheingold at the Met tonight (Friday), Walkure tomorrow. Kirov Opera. Buncha Russians. With their own orchestra. They do the first two Ring operas Friday and Saturday, then a full Ring cycle Monday through Thursday, then the rest of this weekend's cycle next Friday and Saturday! And this is a touring company! What the hell kind of schedule is that? Steroids with your vodka?

Pirates ARR Comin'!

Since the New York Gilbert and Sullivan Players' website has fallen into an even more serious state of disrepair than this site, I will take it upon myself to keep my stalkers apprised.

I'm writing this on Monday, April 9. I just finished my taxes -- online, which I totally endorse. I think it's even better than getting the help of an expert. Tonight: "Pirates" rehearsal. Tomorrow: rehearsal for a secret thing I am not yet at liberty to divulge. Wednesday: tech guys and people who can't bear the idea of flying to a place and doing a performance that very night leave for Michigan and a night a beauty rest. The remainder of us -- WHO REFUSE TO PAY FOR A NIGHT'S LODGINGS OUT OF OUR OWN POCKETS -- get up at at an absurd hour, make our ways to Newark,  and eventually arrive to perform "Pirates" at Warriner Hall, Central Michigan University, in Mt. Pleasant. We're staying at a Microtel. I don't recall ever having stayed in a Microtel, but I see no reason to be optimistic about it. Friday night: "Pirates" again, at "The Whiting" (? - a theater - I'll find out why it's called that), in Flint. Comfort Inn this time. Saturday: PIRATES! In Columbus - The Southern Theater. Super 8. A matinee same place Sunday afternoon, then off for a 100 mile trip to Cincinnati and a restful evening at a Fairfield Inn. Monday: "Pirates" at Cincinnati Music Hall. Back to Newark next morning.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                           
More "Pirates" in Morristown, NJ, Friday the 20th. "Pinafore" the 27th, New Brunswick, NJ.

Of course I'm the Major-General in all these, except "Pinafore," which fortunately has no Major-General.

Thanks, Doug, for keeping this site full of photos while I didn't feel like writing. What's the matter with you, Eva? Got gas or something?

Boise, Idaho, Here We Come!

Today's guest sermon is by Laurelyn Watson Chase. I don't
know what's with the font and margins.

I spent President’s Day weekend in gorgeous Sun Valley, Idaho.
At 6,000 feet altitude, it is breathtaking (literally).
This world-famous ski resort town is playground to the stars: 
Tom Cruise, Bruce Willis, Jamie Lee Curtis, Arnold, Tom Hanks, 
and many others own homes there. I thought it strange that our
little quintet from New York Gilbert & Sullivan Players ended 
up there for a gig. Al Bergeret (the boss), Keith Jurosko,
Michael Scott Harris, Angela Smith, Andi Stryker-Rodda (pianist)
and I would perform for fancy people.

The adventure began thus:  After traveling all day on Friday to
get to Boise, ID, we arrived and discovered all 11 pieces of our
luggage LOST. Our suitcases, costumes, props, and music scores
could not be traced. We piled into a mini-van (sans luggage)
and drove to Sun Valley where we were expected to perform that
night at a country club. Most of us were dressed casually for
travel; I had on a sweat suit from The Gap that looked like I
had a load in my pants.  After arriving and meeting our host
families, we were able to buy a few necessities at the only
drug store in town, and then had about 20 minutes to prepare
for our performance. My cast-mate Angie and I were exhausted
and stunned, but we put on make-up, sprayed perfume on each
other, and then rushed to the country club to sing for the rich
and well-dressed. Thanks to my book of G&S favorites I’d packed
in my carry-on (and some adrenaline), we were able to make it
through a 40 minute excerpt performance. The fancy people
gave us a standing ovation and a lot of wine.

The next day, we woke up in our luxurious, kick-ass log 
cabin to spectacular views of a rolling stream and snow-covered
mountains.  We’d hardly finished our breakfast when we got the
news that our bags were still lost. So, Saturday turned into
a mad rush to find concert wear and to our surprise (not
really), make-shift costumes and props for that evening’s show.
Angie and I found dresses at the local thrift shop, The Gold
Mine. Remember that stretchy velvet-like fabric so popular in
the 1990’s? Mine was a deep purple, long-sleeved tube dress
with a hem line somewhere between my knees and my name & address. 
Angie’s was a forest green velvet tent (we looked hot). When the
locals discovered we had lost our bags, they eagerly helped us
find shoes and gave us a discount at check-out. Meanwhile, our
director, Al, was furiously making props - fans and a large
axe, and enlisted his hosts to track down kimonos and wigs.
Our wigs were purchased at a toy store and were the consistency
of Barbie’s hair.  Angie and I tried to style the wigs into
Geisha-like buns, but it was almost impossible. There was
nothing to do but roar with laughter. We slapped the wigs on
our heads and went to the church for the show. We ended up with
some beautiful kimonos and bath robes donated by people who had
traveled to Japan or Hawaii.  However, what they presented for
Keith’s Mikado Ensemble was like nothing I’d ever seen: 
Liberace had raided the closet of one of the Golden Girls.
I’m waiting for Keith’s memoirs, “The Dark Side of Light Opera.”


























It is true that we didn’t look our best or have props that
weren’t sticky. Never mind that we were all dehydrated,
gasping for breath in the high altitude, and constantly
fighting back laughter over each other’s shitty wigs and
comments such as “I’m in Hooterville” or “I’m a whore!
I’ll do anything for a dollar.” We put on a show and
entertained the crowd with our voices and Gilbert &
Sullivan’s material. I don’t recall such enthusiastic
response from a crowd during a quintet performance, ever.
In their minds, perhaps we were like underdogs or somehow
handicapped with the disadvantage of lost luggage. Because
we could sing, act, dance, play the piano, be funny or
sentimental, and remember all the words, we were little
miracles.  I won’t be so quick to take my talent or the
talent of my peers for granted, dear hearts. A little
can take you a long way ... all the way to
Sun Valley, Idaho.

Yeomen and Ligers and Bares

NYGASP had ONE MORE Yeomen of the Guard two nights ago (Saturday, Feb 3), three weeks after our final performance at City Center. This was at the McCarter Theater, Princeton, NJ. The very theater, and the same show, in which the late, great, CHRISTOPHER REEVE made his stage debut as a 9-year old townsperson at the Tower of London. Along those same lines it may also interest you to know that ANTHONY PERKINS' first principal role was in a college production of Yeomen, as Wilfred Shadbolt, the comedy jailer!

The audience was extremely appreciative and Al thought the performance was one of our triumphs. I missed not having done it for a couple of weeks, except for a principals-only brushup rehearsal the night before. My grasp on Jack Point is definitely firmer than it was at first, for sure. I used to think the role was just not written that well, that Point talks too much and says way too little, and that Gilbert tried but just couldn't make him that funny or consistent. I know now that those things are very much part of the character. He's sympathetic, he's a selfish asshole, he's perky and funny, he's dull and depressed. I have only begun to reconcile all that stuff. I've never seen a Jack Point that really put it all together, and I'm sorry to say that I haven't yet managed it either. The first thing Point says is that "There is humor in all things, and the truest philosophy is that which teaches us to find it and to make the most of it," and I hope that next time I do this role I'll be able to make something of the irony of that, and the way his not-very-developed sense of humor utterly fails to help him cope. Having a sense of humor isn't memorizing jokes from "Cap'n Billy's Whiz-Bang" or "The Merrie Jests of Hugh Ambrose" -- it's a general outlook, a state of mind.

We have Pinafore this weekend on Long Island and it will seem like DESSERT after slaving over these Yeomen.

My friend, company member Jennifer Piacenti -- she was Yum-Yum this season -- has beaten me to the punch with the "Girls of NYGASP" calendar idea. She had a novelty calendar made up for me at Staples, or something, with 13 photos of NYGASP babes. No actual nudity, unfortunately, but enough skin to give a G&S Society member vapours. But of course no Society member will ever see it because it's MINE, ALL MINE! HA, HA, HA, HA, HA! Jennifer's Myspace page, on which you can hear her sing a few things and look at the usual excruciating Myspace list of "friends," may be reached by clicking right HERE.

VAL has gotten a lot of good feedback -- THOUGH NOT ON THIS SITE, FOR SOME REASON -- on her nude photo session article in the February 'Self.' Yes, the lack of cellulite is real.

In closing, if there is no new business, I present you with these pictures of a LIGER (father lion, mother tiger). This is Hercules, at  the Institute of Greatly Endagered and Rare Species in Miami. He looks awfully agreeable, for a cat the size of a friggin' HORSE.