A BILE-FILLED POST FROM DOUG.
About two weeks ago I received an email from a friend. He had been brought on as a sort of consultant for a short film directed by Scorsese. My friend was also trying to fill up an orchestra's worth of extras for the film. It seemed like it might be... well, if not interesting, then probably still worth doing just for the sake of doing. The money was almost reasonable, and the only requirement was that I show up at Houston and Broadway before dawn in my tuxedo, with a contrabassoon. We would be bussed to Bayonne.
We were all there at 6 for our bus, which didn't show up until 7:45. That's ok, it was a balmy 40 degrees and we got to watch the sun come up.
Once we got there, all 80 people needed to go through hair and make up. I sat and waited until dead last... there was no way in hell I'd stand in line for an hour so that I could sit around made up under lights until the others were done. I finally got in the chair (yes, dead last) and let them shave me.
We were finally all in place at about 10. From 10 until 3 we would have one 10 minute break. We sat in our chairs with hemorrhoids blossoming for endless god damned hours, doing NOTHING except fantasizing about killing the contractor.
At 3 we ran for the catering table and devoured everything we could. As we were eating we were told we were done for the day. GOOD GOD DAMNED BYE. Our bus stalled in the Holland Tunnel on the way back in.
Want to see JUST how exciting it was? I shot a few seconds of footage on my phone. If you made this into a 5 hour loop you'd have a good idea what the day consisted of. Regard:
I'm not sure I've ever had a shittier experience. Who would be an extra willingly?? I'd rather salt fries. I'll never see a movie again without thinking "that guy in the background, the one standing by the vending machine, what an asshole. He should go read a book."
