Doug Quint Bassoon Recital

The bassoon, known in European countries as the “faggot,” or “das fagot,” or “le faggotto,” or “Monsieur Faggot,” is commonly known in this country as “the bassoon,” or “clown of the orchestra,” or “bundle of sticks.” Much was demanded of the faggot at Doug Quint’s Monday night recital, one of the requirements of the Doctor of Music program at City University of New York. Mr. Quint was resplendent in a brownish new suit from Target, shirt, and shoes and necktie which may have both been tied by the artist himself. The confident and amusing young Quint moved with the agility of a mountain goat whenever he shifted his newly slimmed buttocks in his seat or, indeed, whenever he moved. His highly pleasing appearance was enhanced by the recent addition of a sassy moustache, which heightened his bassoonishness.

Every piece on the program was for faggot and one other non-keyboard instrument. First was a sonata by Mozart which featured the faggot, with cello clearly functioning as the bottom in the relationship. The sonata included many notes spewed forth by Quint and Sarah Seiver, cello, and was a wonderful demonstration of what a bassoon and a cello can do together if they want to. The piece was a tour-de-force for the many fans of low notes present at the event. This was followed by an extremely brief duet for bassoons by Stravinsky which had many people in the audience remarking “What the fuck did I just hear?” Or maybe they didn’t actually remark that and I just dreamt it. In any event it was over quickly and, again, pleased many in the sparse audience with its satisfying bass tones and dissonant grunting. So as not to completely waste the time of prominent freelance artist on the bassoon, contrabassoon, and Hecklephone in the New York City area Harry Searing, another, MUCH longer, bassoon duet followed: Francisco Paulo Mignone’s Sonata no. 1. It was everything a bassoon duet should be – full of infectious Latin American rhythms which made one think of bundles of sticks being beat together and elegant tunes which evoked bundles of sticks floating down a slow-moving river of thick, brown water. The three-movement masterpiece culminated, or ended, with a fiery flair of fun which distinctly brought to mind the burning of a bundle of sticks, extinguished by cascading roulades of notes which poured from the many-fingered faggot duetists.

After an intermission, which many seized as an opportunity to gaze with love at their cell phones, we were finally treated to a treble clef instrument. Keith Bonner, a snappily attired flutist, whose name may or may not be a form of the French Bonnheur or the American boner, joined Quint for Villa-Lobos’ Bachianas Brasilerias no. 6. It was more South American fun as the two performers swayed enchantingly to the many-beated tunes, and it was a joy indeed to hear the mincing, lightly-skipping flute cavort around the spasmodic and occasionally baffling groans of the unrelenting faggot. The concert was brought to a spanking climax with a performance of Paganini’s Duetto Concertante no. 3 por Violino et Faggotto. Aaron Boyd, a very heavily employed violinist IF THE PROGRAM NOTES ARE TO BE BELIEVED, wore fine clothes. The violin and bassoon battled spectacularly for virtuosic supremacy, with much stratospheric squealing from the little brown string instrument and frantic, psychotic attacks from the big faggot. At the conclusion there was applause during which a small girl actually went up onto the stage, against fairly specific instructions from her father, to present the triumphant almost-doctor Quint with a fine Whitman’s Sampler.

All in all, it was a pleasant affair which brought smiles and claps from the more than twenty audience members, and which at no point threatened to be more than a concert played by performers.

Comments

[Theresa]

Sounds like a real sexy bassoon recital!
Cool mustache....

[sarah seiver]

Were you at the same concert I was at? Oh yeah, that's right-- I left as soon as I was done.

[doug]

yeah, I have two more recitals to conquer. No idea when.

I also must:

Pass a language proficiency. HA! *weeps*
Pass a comprehensive exam. Basically I can be asked about anything, by a committee. A grilling.
Pass a written theory proficiency. I have no idea HOW I'll do that. Like, they plop down Lulu and a Debussy piece and you have to discuss it.
Write a dissertation

We'll see. The reason I did this- well, it would be NICE to have the degree, but let's get real- was to kick my own ass into good shape for the first time in years. It's working, so I'm happy.

[punto]

Huzzah! Reviewing worthy of the immortal G.B.S and Ernest Newman in their palmy heyday. The account of the ecstasies of intermission cellphone fondling should be anthologized for the ages to be read by generations not yet born. It is this humble correspondent's fervent hope that the writer be commended most vigorously and then pummeled senseless.

[Apostolis]

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