Potter, Turnblad, Simpson

Last week I saw Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix on Monday, Hairspray on Wednesday, and The Simpsons movie on Friday! I felt like Roger Ebert, but without the lardy ass and cancer, or any credibility.

I wasn't expecting much from Harry Potter -- I decided after the last one that I wasn't going to put any special effort into seeing the remaining sequels we are guaranteed (two more after this one!) -- but I was really surprised at what a mess it was. In the old Dickens film adaptations they had to leave out dozens and DOZENS of characters and incidents but managed to keep the story and, more importantly, arguably, retain the somewhat leisurely Dickens tone of the novels. This Potter movie was the shortest of the series so far, frenzied yet staggeringly boring. When it did focus on anything it was all wizard duel crap, right out of a horrible Star Wars prequel, and way too much Dolores Umbridge (read "umbrage" -- one of Rowling's Dickens tricks), the usual new teacher character who harasses Harry at school. The relationship between the three friends apparently couldn't be included in this movie. Ron stands beside Hermoine and nods. Snape hardly appears! Weren't his sessions with Harry a major part of the book? And I may be wrong about this -- I think I may have dozed off at least once -- but aren't they leaving out stuff that's going to be very messy to try and explain in the next two movies? Also the music really stunk (John Williams deigned not to do this one).

I'm in the middle of Deathly Hallows, by the way, and of course enjoying it very much.

Hairspray was a great big steaming pile of fun. That new kid, whose name I'm not going to go to the trouble of looking up, was sensational as Tracy Turnblad and John Travolta was as charming and lovable as could be. Divine was also sweet and sympathetic as Edna but he just couldn't help but be slightly terrifying because he was Divine. Formerly Babs Johnson a.k.a. the Hog Princess. I particularly liked the movie's re-creation of 60's Baltimore familiar from the early John Waters stuff. Waters and Mink Stole appear in the opening number. My only complaint about the movie was a problem they were already saddled with from the stage production -- too many drab songs that sound exactly alike. The New Hampshire audience I saw it with loved it and applauded the end! John Waters for kids. Waters should remake his early movies as kid-friendly cartoons.

Here are Divine as himself and as Edna Turnblad, and John Travolta as a comparatively cute and demure Edna.

There's very little I feel compelled to say about The Simpsons Movie because of course you should see it no matter what anyone says. The plot is kind of concerned with environmental stuff but that's OK -- it's not a Lisa show. All Homer, all the way through. Plus full-frontal yellow nudity! And Marge says, "God damn it, Homer!" Grampa has an unforgettable freak-out scene in church at the beginning. Mr. Burns lets loose the hounds. Homer stabs himself in the eye with a hammer claw. It's got everything. It was great to be in a full theater (Brooklyn for this one) laughing at the Simpsons. But prepare yourself for no aliens or Sideshow Bob.

Comments

[Doug]

I saw that Harry Potter movie and thought it was a boring mess.

I've never read any of the books until last weekend. I grabbed the "last" book from someone who was reading it, and I read the "last" page. So I know how the whole thing wraps up at least.

Her dumb little plays on words (like that whole umbrage thing) are so intolerable! It might be clever for an 11 year old, but how can adults read it? Gawd.

I will be seeing The Simpsons soon.

I should also report that I saw "Transformers" and it couldn't have been worse.