What can it be about January 23?
Leonard Pinth-Garnell, J. Pinkerton-Snoopington, and Stephen Quint! All Born Yesterday! It's too much happiness!
Ernie Kovacs, Franklin Pangborn
But I'm writing because I have bigger fish to fry. Yes, things are happening, and happening fast. But first, I have to generate a bunch of words so I can get away from this picture of me and on to weightier stuff. My calendar arrived -- extremely promptly -- from the Rose Valley Chorus and Orchestra. "For 100 years, Rose Valley Chorus & Orchestra has presented the Gilbert & Sullivan operettas in the popular Savoyard tradition. Now, in RVC&O's100th year and with due respect to Gilbert and Sullivan, twenty-seven women have come together, joined by common threads of a love of theatre and a love of art, to present Gilbert & Sullivan characters in non-traditional NUDE GLORY!" 55 is the average age. Five are over 70 and 4 are under 40! Other than that, and a few factoids about professions and stuff, the women aren't identified! Preposterous! My favorite photo is Ruth, Pirates of Penzance, with one foot up on a treasure chest and draped with a skull and crossbones. "47"? Hmm. There's a fabulous Fairy Queen, looking like a Ziegfield tableau. A naked Patience with milk pails with a naked Lady Jane with cello. Take a look and order a copy RIGHT HERE. Printed on really cheap, pinkish (rose) paper. Pictures are too small, sharing too much space with a synopsis of each show. Synopses! God, I hate them more than encores. I love the fun attitude about this calendar, but it's nudity for children, you know? Kind of fun, but not a speck of titillation. Not like the impending NYGASP calendar, which will show everything and plenty of it!!! You want pink, we'll show you pink, Rose Valley!
This is the February issue of 'Self.' Yeah, yeah, tone your abs, "new" sex secrets he'll LUV you for, lose 6 pounds in 5 minutes every other Thursday, crap. The reason you will buy this issue, or at least spend ten minutes at a newsstand gawking at it, is the latest article by Valerie Frankel. Last spring Val decided to undergo the experience of POSING NUDE. Not just rude Polaroids -- real arty stuff by an experienced pro photographer with all kinds of lights and assistants! It was an adventure, one she is eager to share with her readers, and includes SIX FLESHY FOTOS! In life-like color! Taken by KOREN REYES and, I suppose I should add, property of 'Self.' The action starts on page 32.
I should also add, for 'Self'-type readers and other saps, that Val is my beloved wife. Also she'll bitch if I don't.
Here's one of the unused photos from the session. Sorry, this is the biggest I could get it. If you click on it the color looks better.