The more attentive of my 17.2 daily readers may have noticed that I haven't posted much lately. The truly obsessive among you may even be able to read between the lines and deduce that by "not posting much lately" I really mean "haven't posted anything for two weeks." But since the 17.2 of you keep coming back I feel obliged to give you something new to read. An occasional comment from one of you --even Eva -- might spur me to more frequent activity. The last person to post a comment on this site was me! About the always thorny and hairy subject of Peter Hirsch! Come on! Post your own comments about Peter Hirsch! Feel the guilt and do your duty!
I want to write more about Disney and their death rides at some point but I've also been wanting to write about The Producers. A month ago it finally occurred to me how insane it was that I love the original 1968 movie so much but still hadn't seen the stage version which has been slaying Broadway audiences since 2001. So I went with Maggie (10). We had perhaps not as transcendent a time as we'd have had seeing the show when it was new, with a couple of celebrities in the star roles and an audience of theater-savvy laughers instead of tourists who rely on laugh tracks, but we both enjoyed it a lot. Maggie particularly loved Roger DeBris and his entourage. Roger is still Gary Beach, still hilarious after THOUSANDS of performances, still somehow dignified yet giving just what you would expect from a Mel Brooks-scripted silly, flaming homo. The Leo Bloom understudy was performing the night we saw it. Lost the program insert with his name, unfortunately. He was great. Better than Matthew Broderick in the movie version of the stage show. Of course Matthew had played the role hundreds of times when the movie was made, this guy was fresh and eager.
It's a pointless digression, but none of the performers in this remade Producers could possibly dilute any memories of the 1968 cast. But consider -- imagine being Gene Wilder, who had one scene (a damn good one, though) in Bonnie and Clyde and no other previous film experience. You come to the Producers set and your first day of shooting is a scene alone with Zero Mostel. And you're supposed to play nervous, terrified, and hysterical. I think a person could do that! Gene also admits being scared of Kenneth Mars, who seemed to him to be the same whether breaking for lunch or playing the deranged old Nazi who wrote "Springtime for Hitler." Zero was what you would have to call a unique performer. The only actor I can think of for comparison is Divine. They were both terrifying. Big, with big, active faces. Theatrical. You just can't compare Nathan Lane to Zero Mostel. If you have to compare Nathan, compare him to Lou Costello. Does that make you feel better?
More pointlessness: Zero Mostel was and Gene Wilder is obviously Jewish. What could be more unscrupulous than a couple of Jews producing a show glorifying Hitler? Bialystock and Bloom are never actually presented as Jews, but with those two playing the roles, why bother
presenting? One of the many things Mel Brooks lost from screen to stage and then to screen again was The Producers' Jewishness. Nathan is great and he does say "Oy" a few times but on the whole he plays Jewish only slightly more convincingly than he plays straight. But what's he
supposed to do -- wear a yarmulke and Alec Guinness's Fagin nose? And who could be a whiter, less ethnic choice for Leo Bloom than Matthew Broderick? What funny Jews do we have nowdays? Woody Allen? I mean funny Jews who care to be funny.
I really like that Nathan had his healthy head of hair trimmed drastically for the movie so that he could affect a slimy Zero comb-over. You don't need to freeze frame to see Zero's greasy strands change position from shot to shot. Here are Bialystock and Bloom, 1968:
And here's Nathan Lane's combed-over Bialystock in the 2005 movie:
Nathan's work in this movie is admirable. Scoff at the crickets who think his performance is TOO BROAD. Ahem. Zero?
You realize that Mel Brooks wrote the songs for this show. He wrote songs for a bunch of his movies -- Blazing Saddles ("I'm Tired") and High Anxiety (title tune) come to mind immediately. The new songs for Producers are a surprising amount of fun. Overall I actually prefer the tunes to the lyrics. Brooks says he's no composer. What he means of course is that he doesn't know how to literally write music. He sang his tunes to a musician who improvised harmony and a setting, and they worked together until Brooks couldn't get any more definite about his intentions. The tunes are all of good commercial jingle quality. That is to say, sometimes annoyingly catchy. Franz Liebkind's solo, der "Guten Tag Hop-Clop" -- "The Fuhrer's favorite song," which he insists Max and Leo sing with him before he'll sign a contract to have "Springtime for Hitler" produced, seems to be permanently stuck in the front of my head. It's jolly German jibberish in 3/4 time and the only new song that I find satisfying all the way through, with completely retarded lyrics and an oom pah pah tune:
"Guten tag hop, hop,
Guten tag clop, clop.
Ach, du lieber und Ho, boy!
Guten tag clap, clap!
Guten tag slap, slap!
Ach, du lieber, vat a joy!"
Unfortunately, as a lyricist I just don't think Brooks had much to say in any of these songs. I mean, the Hop-Clop is pure stupidity so it's fine. One of the changes to this new musical Producers is that Leo tells Max in their first scene that he's always had a secret desire to be a Broadway producer -- an out-of-left-field character detail of which there is no hint in the original movie. After he's refused to work with Max we visit him slaving at his depressing accounting firm. All the accountants are very unhappy. They sing "Unhappy":
"Unhappy. Unhappy. Very unhappy.
Unhappy. Unhappy. Very, very, very, very
Very, very, very unhappy."
Unforgettable lyrics, you really feel their pain. Then the lights find the only black guy in the office:
"Oh, ah debits in de mornin,'
And ah credits in de evenin,'
Until dem ledgers be right."
I did laugh out loud at that. I encourage my intelligent 17.2 readers, or whatever percentage of the 17.2 of you are intelligent (Eva -- just let your mind wander), to consider RACIAL vs. RACIST humor. I'll say no more. Different essay. Bloom is in the midst of the other accountants. He sings a song to himself, "I Wanna Be a Producer." He wants to be a producer so he can wear a tux, hang out with chorus girls, and drink champagne until he pukes. ???? I do those things all the time and I've never considered being a producer. But those are his reasons. Then he dances. Ulla, the Swedish secretary who says maybe 10 almost-complete sentences in the original, is in the revised version a Swedish "singer/dancer" (right) who sings "When You Got It, Flaunt It," which contains the lyrics
"Violinists love to play an E-string,
But audiences love to see a G-string."
No! Lyrics like that aren't allowed, are they? That's pathetic. There are lots like that.
Maybe the most beautiful single shot in the original is when the camera pans across the stunned theater audience as they listen to "Springtime for Hitler." Everyone's eyes are bulging, mouths are agape, all are frozen with horror. The camera continues to pan, basically ignoring Franz Liebkind, who is sitting in their midst, squirming with uncontainable delight, giggling to himself, just loving it.
In both versions the audiences change their minds and decide it's all a joke when the Hitler character comes out. In 1968 it was Dick Shawn as "LSD," (Lorenzo Saint Dubois), a beatnik/hippy/brain damaged wacko who can barely remember his own name. In the musical Roger DeBris has to go on at the last minute and is so out-of-control gay that the audience starts laughing.
I said I wanted to write about The Producers. I never said I had a point or that I was even going anywhere.
For some reason, nowhere in the musical version is the scene in the bar where Max and Leo learn that the audience is actually loving their "guaranteed-to-close-on-page-four" atrocity. Brooks must have forgotten to include it -- the only acceptable reason. It cuts from the conclusion of the song "Springtime for Hitler" to baffled Max and Leo returning to their office.
The end of the musical is a mess. Leo goes off to Rio with Ulla and the money! Max goes to jail and sings an 11th hour number, "Betrayed." Again, nothing much to say. He feels betrayed. Stabbed in the back. Cain and Able. He recaps the entire show with all the most memorable quotes. It is exactly "Reviewing the Situation," from Oliver! The punch line of the show is horrible and goes on for ten minutes. Max, Leo, and Franz are in Sing Sing running the dress rehearsal for Prisoners of Love, working on the title song ("Just the murderers on this verse," Max yells). A reprieve comes from the governor! For rehabilitating convicts through song and dance! Prisoners of Love goes to Broadway! A series of Bialystock and Bloom hits follow! Katz! She Shtups to Conquer! Maim! Happy ending. "Leo and Max -- Up off their backs!" etcetera and so forth. The original movie ends with them at the state pen, rehearsing "Prisoners," on their way to pulling off another scam, this time with Leo's fully committed involvement. Beautiful.
I resisted the idea of a stage musical Producers for a long time. A movie of a backstage story is fine, but I have problems with that kind of story told on a stage. And this includes great shows -- Gypsy, Funny Girl, Kiss Me, Kate... The stage Producers loses a lot from the addition of songs. Something like 8 songs have been sung by the time we get to "Springtime for Hitler." Max has sung with a chorus of old ladies and Leo has danced with a bunch of chorus girls. Opening night of Springtime for Hitler is still exciting and the song is magnificently staged but we've been sated with songs already. We really miss the way the razzmatazz music starts up and the curtain swings open and the chorus is running around and it all just assaults you in the old movie. But why shouldn't Mel Brooks turn his old hit screenplays into stage shows? None of his movies since High Anxiety have had any redeeming humor value. Go for it, Mel! Keep busy and stay out of trouble! Get some help with the lyrics for Young Frankenstein.
Maggie and Lucy love the movie musical version! Will Ferrell plays Franz and Uma Thurman is Ulla. All the rest is the Broadway cast (it was shot in a Brooklyn studio). Lucy (7) was outraged by the frequent display of the swastika, but still bursts into "Springtime for Hitler" in the supermarket! ("Not everyone's seen The Producers!" I hiss at her.) She can't take the original movie, though -- Zero is too much for her. Kenneth Mars as Franz is also kind of gross and off-putting, as well he should be. But Will Ferrell is good for kids, I guess. That's the thing about the musical, maybe, it's Mel Brooks for children. And my kids are Jews, with a clear basic understanding of who the Nazis were (and still are! unbelievably). Lucy had the presence of mind to ask, while watching the movie, "They [Max and Leo] don't really like Hitler, do they?" Maggie amazed me when we left the theater by singing most of the songs, quoting
extensively, and talking about the show all the way home. How kids remember things they like!
And there you have my Producers essay. How you doing, 17.2? I'll get you down to 9.1 within days after producing this.
Robinsons' Robot recently signed to take over as Bialystock on Broadway with C3PO as Leo Bloom.
