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And the Rest

  • A Throng of Quints
    People who aren't me.

Dead Drunken Flunky

Last week was indeed extraordinarily difficult for all of us, with not only the death of Ed McMahon but the total absence of stunned mourners "HEY-O"ing in the streets, any increase in sales of Ed McMahon memorabilia, or even any speculation about who will be America's next guffawing stooge. Budweiser and Alpo, two products which McMahon was proud to represent, have issued no comment of which I am aware. Johnny Carson has said nothing, nor is he likely to.

I therefore urge you at this time to Google Ed McMahon, HE WHO HAWED, read everything you can about him, and consider whether you could possibly waste even more time this week paying attention to the deaths of seriously pathetic celebrities you really won't miss.
45478439

OFFICIAL BIG GAY ICE CREAM MAN!

Look what just came in the mail for Doug!

Get-attachment  

It's THE BIG GAY ICE CREAM TRUCK!!!

THE BIG GAY ICE CREAM TRUCK, Douglas Quint and Bryan Petroff, proprietoresses, comes out at noon this Saturday, June 13! At BROOKLYN PRIDE, Brooklyn's comparatively sedate gay thing, located in Prospect Park at Bartel-Pritchard Circle, 15th Street and Prospect Park West. Doug (my tiny little brother) still, as of this writing, has not received his overdue food vendor's license from the incredibly lardass, waddling behemoth Department of Consumer Affairs. Doug's ice cream vendor guru will be there to actually pull the soft serve handle in case someone demands to see a certificate. Among the toppings to be offered: TRIX cereal ("Trix ARE for kids, but adults can have 'em too. It's queer, colorful, and youngster-friendly, like us!"); Cayenne pepper ("It makes the chocolate into something really surreal."); Fresh berries du jour; and maple syrup.

There will also be a GAY PARADE that night at 7:30! So much gaiety stuffed tightly into one day! Can you bear it? The truck might be in the parade, but come to the park in the afternoon, before 4. It's supposed to be the first decent weather we've had in a week.

BGICTwithJohnMontoneResized Doug on the right.

BUY A T-SHIRT!

All sizes and styles! Choice of BIG GAY ICE CREAM TRUCK logos!

P6060424  

Flaming Ice Cream

Here's the latest on my brother Doug's BIG GAY ICE CREAM TRUCK at NBC New York dot com! Hopefully hitting the streets next week (June 8)!!!

Nerd is the Word

I have taken part in the first of my Three Known Nerd Events of the Summer: I saw and loved Star Trek. For extra Nerd Karma bonus points I saw it the day before it opened officially, with a crowd of approving Believers. I always like to see a movie I know I want to see as soon as I can see it, see? Before the reviews come out. I like to read reviews but they always spoil too much. Suffice it to say that nothing about the movie failed to satisfy. Kirk fights, humps an alien (female), and hangs from three different cliffs. Spock says "Fascinating" and talks to himself. All the old "Star Trek" TV sound effects are heard again. There are thrills, laughs, and mind-numbing plot twists. WARNING: time travel and parallel universes are involved, so set your logic on "stun." I saw it a second time with the family. Maggie loves Kirk (Chris Pine)! She was surprised to learn that WILLIAM SHATNER played him on TV!

This weekend: my final G&S performances of the summer (and second Nerd Event): NYGASP's The Pirates of Penzance at The Filene Center, Wolf Trap Foundation for the Arts, Vienna, VA. Our FIFTEENTH consecutive appearance at this Tanglewood-type outdoor amphitheater. May 29 & 30 at 8. "Pirates" is my favorite of the NYGASP stagings - no topical gags (except "Department of Homeland Security"), only three quick encores, the chorus is encouraged to act and is therefore extremely funny, the choreography looks somewhat professional and fun, limited buttinski stuff from the pit. The infallible Michele McConnell is a great Mabel, Colm Fitzmaurice is a rugged-looking, completely charming Frederick, and David Macaluso as Samuel, the speaking pirate who isn't the Pirate King, usually hits his interpolated high G#. I am still enjoying playing the Major-General, which is still not yet an age-appropriate role for me. The principals wear body mics - a lovely thing. Only a real sourpuss wouldn't enjoy our Pirates of Penzance.

Event of the Nerd the Third: June 3 & 4 I will be attending two days of the annual International Horn Symposium in Macomb (near Chicago), IL. Every year, in a different international location, several hundred hornplayers from EVERYWHERE get together for a week of concerts, lectures, exhibits and geeky socializing! I have done full weeks of this thing in the distant past but will only be attending Wednesday and Thursday because two days are cheaper. People who don't know me, and/or have never clicked on "ABOUT ," in the upper left of this page, may not know that I spent several years of my professional life, such as it is, as a hornplayer in and around New York and on tour in various ensembles. This part of my life got phased out due to imposed physical limitations and my simultaneous success as a thespian. But I have found - I am surprised it took me this long - that I can still play extremely well on a lighter instrument. There are all types of configurations of French horns, using more or less tubing, though the standard full double F/Bb horn is OVERWHELMINGLY the most popular on this continent. I am switching to a single Bb horn.
974a292595  Single Bb.













 

                                                      Double F/Bb:FB-Doppel

As you can see, the double horn has lots more metal, and certain advantages for which I think I can compensate. A couple of weeks ago I played my first horn solo in about TEN YEARS, at a NYGASP function. "Over the Rainbow," on Al Bergeret's old double horn. It went very well - like one nicked note, and I was not overcome with nerves, as used to be the norm. Professional-quality single horns are rare in America, but the Symposium is an international event, and manufacturers will have them on exhibit and ready to be sampled and possibly bought.

The NYGASP thing for which I played was the annual Asimov Awardee concert, this year presented by winner Michael Galante. Next Spring I have to give you warning about this concert. NYGASP singers who aren't often heard in solo roles with the company - like CHRIS-IAN SANCHEZ - get to present themselves, and "stalwarts" like me get to do something different. The concert is free and a regular riot!

Also, my brother Doug will, at a time yet to be announced, come out with THE BIG GAY ICE CREAM TRUCK! Click on it! And stand by circa this site!

California next

Here is a major dose of bizarre insanity WITH A MESSAGE to keep you on your toes, courtesy of the magnificent BRAD WILSON.


The NEW YORK GILBERT AND SULLIVAN PLAYERS'  next eagerly, obsessively, rabidly awaited performance is The Pirates of Penzance (YAY!) Friday and Saturday, May 1 & 2, at 8, in Cerritos, California, just south of Los Angeles, at the Cerritos Center for the Performing Arts. The company's first performance on the West Coast. Giant theater, basically sold out but try your luck. Yes, yes, I am the Major-General. It is, it is a glorious thing to be one. Have you ever known what it is to be one? NYGASP will now have performed coast to coast, but WHAT ABOUT MAINE??? WHAT ARE YOU GUYS WAITING FOR? I'll personally guarantee an EXCLUSIVE - I mean excruciating - INTERVIEW with AL BERGERET to ANYONE FROM MAINE WHO WANTS ONE.

Lord High Executioners play Conn

IMG_0748  

MORE Japanese operetta; the Scottish play (badly)

Tomorrow night, Friday April 3, NYGASP will be doing "Mikado" at the Community Theatre at Mayo Center for Performing Arts, Morristown, NJ. This will be my last NYGASP Ko-Ko for, well, indefinitely. I am listening for your involuntary "Thank God!"
IMG_1054
In other urgent news, last night I went to the New York debut of Edinburgh's REALLY TERRIBLE ORCHESTRA. It was pretty good. I went with PETER HIRSCH. As we were walking up 43rd to Town Hall we heard BAGPIPES, which never ever sound any good however well they're played. I guess these were played OK but it still sounded like the worst possible oboe-playing combined with screaming cats. It was from kilted guys standing outside Town Hall. Because the RTO is from Edinburgh.

6a00d8341cedea53ef00e54f60a4348834-piPETER HIRSCH as Hoppy the French Horn Frog in the "Teach Your Retarded Child What A Brass Instrument Is!" video (VHS only).


It was a good-sized audience, with some empty sections. Quite a few people followed them over from Scotland. The orchestra was 45 - 50 white people, all dressed nicely and sometimes a bit eccentrically, but not at all uniformly. The principal cellist was a bald woman. The flutes were a beaky-faced middle-aged woman, a girl with fabulous knockers, and an old bald coot with wild bushy eyebrows. An ancient crone was one of the percussionists. There were two euphoniums, one played by a woman who was either blind, deaf, or probably dyslexic. She had a girl sitting beside her the entire time conducting her, counting out loud, and pointing at her music. Everyone in the orchestra was a character.
They very obviously enjoyed themselves all the way through. It's the thing I love most about community theater productions. Their performance stinks but you never get tired of watching the individuals.


The music they chose was frequently kind of a drag. They did stuff that was SUPPOSED to be funny. They had a real Scottish Major-General sing a not particularly ingenious rewritten Major-General song, there was a pointless Sound of Music singalong, a
Scottish thing with solo bagpipes, some original pieces composed for the RTO - a brief African-ish tone poem and an arrangement of "Over the Rainbow" for musical saw. Along the more entertaining lines for which I had hoped they also gave a miserable performance of "Pizzicato Polka" in which no one could get their attacks together, a couple of noisy marches, and the last 4 minutes of 1812 Overture, because the first 10 are much too difficult. We were given paper bags to inflate and explode for the canon cues.

There was also a lot of talk, mostly pretty amusing, from the conductor and the famous and prolific author Alexander McCall Smith (The No. 1 Ladies Detective Agency, 44 Scotland Street, Isabel Dalhousie), who is a founding member and first euphoniumist (I've got him on the list).

You should have seen the orchestra's faces when we gave them a standing ovation! They were thrilled to death.



Major-Generals play Yamaha

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The Japanese operetta

NYGASP goes off to New Hampshire tomorrow (Saturday, March 21) to the Colonial Theater in Keene and then on Sunday to the Lebanon Opera House. For The Mikado. Mikado. MIKADO.
I have nothing to say. Towed-0

Coming down from the dentist

Well, maybe I should say it like this -

"Why, he's my little ol' dream boat"

Groom7
Just trying to perk things up around here with this particularly enticing photo of Shemp. Click on the "WALL OF SHEMP" webpage and see actual items OWNED BY SHEMP!!!

Online Reviews for NYGASP Cabaret

Here are links for online reviews FOR YOU TA HAVE, SEE?

http://www.nytheatre.com/nytheatre/showpage.php?t=ive7819

http://talkentertainment.com/c-8214-Gilbert-Sullivan-with-a-twist-at-the-Triad.aspx

Get a load of this review from "Backstage," a national showbiz newspaper. Is this a positive or a big thumbs down? What a mess! By David Finkle. How much would you pay a critic who doesn't tell you clearly whether he thought the show was any good?

http://www.backstage.com/bso/news_reviews/nyc/article_display.jsp?vnu_content_id=1003929195


Redridinghood-1

NYGASP CABARET KNOCKS DEAD!

The NYGASP cabaret act "I've Got A Little Twist" had its first performance last night and we killed! Slaughtered! Mutilated! Ate the corpses of the newly-deceased and instantly acquired all their heroic attributes! We were great! And NERVOUS? - oy, all six of us agreed we hadn't had such nerves in years! Still, it wasn't a totally disagreeable feeling, and it made us perform EVEN BETTER.

The audience entered the intimate theater in a grumbly mood - problems with the seating kept some people standing out in the cold more than ten minutes, delaying the curtain by more than fifteen, but that is presumably an opening night thing. One guy who did unfortunately make it to his seat was the old fellow dead center right in front of the stage who got up and started laboriously putting on his coat as soon as we had closed our mouths in the final number, and who seemed oblivious that we were trying to accept our applause around him. I assume the two drink minimum was just too much for him. But the rest of the audience LOVE, LOVE, LOVED IT and was very generous with the laffs and claps. My kids (10 and 13) enjoyed the entire thing!

Remaining performances will be of even more superior quality and will take place Sundays, January 11 and 18, at 5, and Thursday, the 15th, at 7. Here's where to get further info at the NYGASP website.  $30 - $40. Cash only. Cash for the hard goods, cash for the soft goods.

If you're here for further info about me, as promised in the program, click on "ABOUT," on your left under my 'Lecter' photo.

Quint Sings Major-General

I've never tried this before! I hereby offer you the option of clicking below and hearing me sing the Major-General song. I am not saying you should do this, but if you wanted to plug headphones into the computer, and make sure no one is spying on you, you could probably do it without too much shame.

Download 17 The Pirates Of Penzance - I Am The Very Model Of A Modern Major-General

My mother says it isn't loud enough, but I don't think there's anything I can do about it. Can you hear it?

Ed Sez Cheez

Here's a new video essay by Lucy about our fine kitten, Edward. And yes, you better believe we're all as happy as we look!

NYGASP Cabaret (actually see me nervous!)



I've Got a Little Twist

MC and Director David Auxier, with Michele McConnell, Colm Fitzmaurice, Stephen Quint, and Angela Smith.  Not pictured: David Wannen and Music Director Mark York

 

Thursdays: January 8 and 15, 7PM
Sundays, January 11 and 18, 5:30 PM

The Triad NYC
158 W. 72nd Street between Broadway and Columbus

CALL 212-769-1000 for seating reservations now!
$40 and $30 seating/cover charge plus 2 drink minimum
($15 cash only per person; alchohol or non- alchohol)
 
 

 

 

We thought you might like some more information about this great new show produced by your favorite company, New York Gilbert & Sullivan Players.  Read on for some words from Artistic Producer Albert Bergeret and Director David Auxier.  

 
A Gilbert & Sullivan Cabaret...Really?

Most people, especially those not really familiar with the canon, think of Gilbert & Sullivan as “light opera” or “operetta”, and they were labeled as “comic operas” when they were written.  But, to those who know and love G&S, the truth is that Gilbert & Sullivan were the first real writers of what we now know as “musical theatre.”  The great theatre works of composers and lyricists from the 20th century truly are the "living legacy" of W.S. Gilbert and Arthur Sullivan!

I've Got a Little Twist takes exactly that thought and brings it home in an intimate setting - placing the spotlight on the enduring beauty and truth in these "original" musical theatre songs.

This 80 minute cabaret act is an homage to all that is wonderful about the G&S repertoire and what it helped to inspire.  Every number has “a little twist" and even the title itself is a twist - a word-play on the lyric "I've got a little list" from the The Mikado.  Comedy and clever juxtapositions are center stage.

Some songs have been put into different settings, and some include new lyrics (in whole or in part).  Musically, many of the numbers have been arranged in styles appropriate for the more intimate cabaret setting, and all G&S numbers are interpreted by the performer from a new, unique perspective.  Classic musical theatre songs by Cole Porter, Rodgers & Hammerstein, Bernstein and others are used to compliment their G&S counterparts, and the medley numbers are witty delights.

In the opening number, which includes some of G&S's greatest hits, even the most casual listener is sure to recognize at least one of the songs.  Later in the program a “legacy of patter” number shows how, while G&S were the original kings of the "patter song" (a song with brisk tempo and rapid-fire lyrics), their musical theatre progeny continued the proud tradition.

With only a few lyric changes, Gilbert’s clever commentary on liberals and conservatives, originally sung by a sentry on duty outside the houses of parliament, becomes the theme song for a bartender on duty election night.  The famous “nightmare song” from Iolanthe is reset in present-day Manhattan as a group of New Yorkers experience their own worst fears – introduced and concluded with a clever musical theatre excerpt – while the faux aesthetic military men from act 2 of Patience become contemporary buddies bemoaning the fact that women nowadays do not know what they want - leading to an inevitably sexist conclusion about the role of a “maid.”

The most touching moments come in the form of more intimate and personal renditions of classic G&S arias such as "Alone, and yet alive" from the The Mikado or "Oh, is there not one maiden breast" from The Pirates of Penzance.

Performed by some of the best talents from New York Gilbert & Sullivan Players – an organization dedicated to “giving vitality to the living legacy of Gilbert & Sullivan” - this is a diverse, unique and entertaining night of fantastic music, old and new.

This January, come in from the cold and get cozy at The Triad with your favorite performers from NYGASP! We promise to warm your hearts and lift your spirits with this original piece! 

CALL 212-769-1000 and make reservations today!

Contact:

R. M. Schlemielle, Director of The Art Museum Toilet Museum of Art                                  
www.artmuseumtoilet.org                                               
Email: info@artmuseumtoilet.org

Press Room *For Immediate Release

Press Release

THE ART MUSEUM TOILET MUSEUM OF ART - NOW ACCEPTING IMAGES

World-renowned Collection’s First-Ever Call For Submissions

New York, NY, — The Art Museum Toilet Museum of Art, the world’s largest collection of images of art museum toilets taken at various art museums around the world, is seeking to add to its unique collection through a call for submissions from other art museum art toilet aficionados.

The site currently houses exclusive images ranging from the prestigious marble lavatory at the Metropolitan Museum of New York, behind-closed-doors shots of the Hermitage’s latrines and the decaying (yet still flushing) pictures of the MongolianArt Museum’s commodes.

“Our collection is one-of-a-kind, yet we realize that in today’s globalized world that it is important to expand our collection of images,” stated R. M. Schlemielle, Director of The Art Museum Toilet Museum of Art. “We are seeking to have an image from every museum on the globe represented in our collection.”

The Art Museum Toilet Museum of Art was officially founded in 2005 and since its inception, staff members have tirelessly been collecting images from around the world. Believed by experts to be the world’s largest, it was built to showcase the forgotten art that can be found in every museum.

By opening its doors and asking the public to add to its collection, the museum is entering an exciting new chapter for both the museum and the art world.

The official submission process includes sending an image to: submissions@artmuseumtoilet.org. Museum officials ask that each image be labeled with the name of the museum, the day the photo was taken and the name of the photographer. All will be posted if the image is selected.

"The Art Museum Toilet Museum of Art was founded in the spirit of Marcel Duchamp, who in 1917 produced the sculpture “Fountain” and changed the way we view art," Schlemielle said. "This piece essentially showcased that art may not be hanging in the proud walls of a museum gallery, but in the common objects of everyday life -- even in the restroom. This website is asking some of the same questions about the current art establishment and questions what defines high brow art."

For more information about The Art Museum Toilet Museum of Art please contact: info@artmuseumtoilet.org.

*Please note all images sent to the museum become property of the museum and can be printed & distributed at will and become property of The ArtMuseumToiletMuseum of Art.

* * *

The Art Museum Toilet Museum of Art is a collection that features digital works. All images, text, concepts sent to the museum become property of the museum and can be copied, distributed and utilized for marketing collateral at will.

The Museum also sells a catalog, select clothing, postcards, posters, prints and CDs.

# # #

In case you missed it elsewhere.
XO
DOUG



Not my cat.... not Steve's cat. Random cat.



not much goin' on round these parts.


Photo 188

Blah Blah Blah

Steve reports that the NYGASP performances in (where? Somewhere that isn't here, that's all that really matters) are definitely happening. He didn't really say if they were good or bad but if you've got both Alan Hill and Paul Sigrist in the show, at least the men's chorus is entertaining.

The mother of Steve (and myself) has been in the hospital for something like 12 days now. GACK! If you know her and want to send her a card, email me for her new address. dougquint @ yahoo.com

In my own exciting news, some of you loons might know Katie Geissinger, whose name seems to get an incredible 19,100 hits on Google. Most of those hits are probably for her Japanese school-girl porn, but still, it must be nice! Anyhow, tomorrow night I have the pleasure of playing in the orchestra for Honegger's KING DAVID and Ms. G knocked my tits off at rehearsal last night. Here's a link in case you're inclined to come sniff her. I mean hear her.

http://www.dessoff.org/new/

And lastly:

Cat vomit

Love,
DOUG

Southern Pirates

Stop the presses! Here's news worthy of interrupting my unprecedented streak of non-blogging! The New York Gilbert and Sullivan Players, giving vitality to the living legacy of Gilbert of Sullivan, aren't dead yet! And we're a-goin' on a SOUTHERN TOUR this Thursday, November 13, 2008, through Wednesday, the 19th. It's an all - (NYGASP) star cast featuring everyone you'd expect including me, in a red jacket so you can't miss me, and including ALAN HILL, an actual Southern boy.Alan_hill_1_4

Here, torn bleeding from the NYGASP website, is our schedule:

November 13, 2008 7:00pm The Wand'ring Minstrels
Troy Arts Council- Troy University, Troy, AL

The Wand'ring Minstrels perform their cabaret version of The Pirates of Penzance, with a second act of mixed selections from the Gilbert & Sullivan canon. Visit Troy Arts Council for more information.

November 14, 2008 7:30pm The Pirates of Penzance
River Center for the Performing Arts, Columbus GA

www.rivercenter.org

November 15, 2008 The Pirates of Penzance
Lucas Theatre for the Arts, Savannah GA

Lucas Theatre for the Arts

November 16, 2008 The Pirates of Penzance
The University of Georgia,, Athens, GA

Performing Arts Center

November 17, 2008 The Pirates of Penzance
ABAC Arts Connection- Tift Theatre, Tifton, GA

Visit Abraham Baldwin Arts Connection

November 18, 2008 The Pirates of Penzance
Bob Jones University, Greenville, SC

School of Fine Arts

November 19, 2008 The Pirates of Penzance
Newberry Opera House, Newberry, SC

2 performances! Newberry Opera House

I hope that some of my Newberry friends will make themselves known.
The "Wand'ring Minstrels" is me and four other people, with piano. In the second half we take audience requests! Exclusively G&S, of course, but if some wise guy wants to ask for "People Will Say We're In Love" it wouldn't be the first time, and we'd have our private little joke. All the rest of the performances are the full company, with a hired local pick-up orchestra of non-802 AF of M members.

In other NYGASP news, MICHAEL GALANTE was the winner of this year's Isaac Asimov Award for being with the company a while and excellence and stuff like that. Michael-galante Also, if you follow the company's misadventures at all you probably know that we are not doing our customary January season at City Center, for reasons mostly involving potential financial disaster.

DRACULA


THE ELLINGTON ROOM PRESENTS

A READING OF BALDERSTON & DEANE'S 1927:

DRACULA




ATTEND ON BELA LUGOSI’S 126TH BIRTHDAY!

Monday, October 20th at 7pm
400 WEST 43RD STREET, 2ND FLOOR
NEW YORK, NEW YORK
CORNER OF 9TH AVENUE


Admission is free !  The cast includes members & friends of NYGASP ... including  Stephen Quint, Angie Smith, Daniel Lockwood, Keith Jurosko (as Van Helsing) ...Andrew Taines & Omar Prince (as Count Dracula).
Please do come & join us for some pre-Halloween fun & this grand old play...that made Bela Lugosi THE Dracula of his time & was the basis for the 1931 film of "Dracula."

Lugosi_dracula

New Proof! Hitler a Jerk!

Yom Kippur Message

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A picture equals a thousand words, not all of them real

New08a I laughed out loud and spewed Cheerios this morning when I saw this doctored photo of John McCain in MY WIFE'S NEWSPAPER OF CHOICE, the London-tabloid-quality NY Post. Atlantic Monthly photographer Jill Greenberg was assigned by her magazine to get a McCain photo that would "make him look heroic." Greenberg had her own non-professional agenda, lit him from below, (McCain's people assumed she knew what she was doing - unfortunately they were right), and while this vampire photo only made it on to her website (note that photographers are frequently visual types who don't spell), this, apparently, is the "heroic" shot Atlantic used: Mccainenhanced-220x300







Yipes! Can this campaign please be over?

PALIN: PIG IN POKE

Stop it, Barack, you're killing me! Today this master of mirth was talkingPig-lipstick about the usual - how McCain SAYS he's about change whereas Obama is REALLY about change. He used the vaguely amusing old adage "You can put lipstick on a pig, but it's still a pig." Of course if you've heard one idiotic Sarah Palin sound byte the last couple of weeks it's her crack about lipstick on hockey moms and pit bulls. Obama actually went on to say “You can wrap an old fish in a piece of paper called change, it’s still going to stink after 8 years." Palin is a pig and McCain is a smelly old fish, no doubt, but gee whiz, sometimes you shouldn't call a spade a spade, or should you?

Quadruplet Humor

Nothing really needs to be said about this, I think. 'Cept "Do it agin."